Joy

Oh, joy! So, I stood up at church this weekend and made a declaration of my faith. The pastor who spoke at one point looked right at me and said, "Let go of my way and follow God's way." He wanted to know if I was capable of that?! Yes. And it's about time. So, I've been expecting great things for my life this week. Expecting God to use me in a big way for Him. And as you know, I've also been agonizing over finding a job. Well, yesterday I received a phone call asking me to go interview at a local middle school. I am 100% confident that job is mine. They will make a decision by Friday or early next week after interviewing three more people. They need not bother! Hahaha. So, I'm feeling good. It is not always easy to stay positive and keep the faith but I am trying. I really want to begin working as my poor husband has been working so much overtime to help us out. He even sold his gun so that I could have a/c in my car. How giving and generous he has become. He is so much more the man I wanted today than the day we were married.
So, along with getting out into the work world I am also getting to working out again. I have a lot to be inspired by. My big 3 0H no is coming up!...my friend Patty who juggles the world and still manages to take really good care of herself...and the fact that I don't want to be schleppy anymore. So, I've been hitting the elliptical, walking, and will soon start water aerobics. I'm not crazy about the last one but it's being offered to me at no cost so what's my excuse now?
Well, tonight I will be attending a birthday party for my hubby's 76 yr. old aunt and I am not looking forward to going. What to wear? How to wear it? Fake smiles and too many intrusive questions and drinking to no end. Not exactly my scene. I will make the best of it and then complain to anyone who will listen!
"....do you want evidence that faith without works is dead?"
James 2:20

water for the thirsty

Well, today I feel like I'm living in a technicolor rainbow. I'm grasping for air and yet my oxygen mask is on. No news to report on the job front. I had to sell my drum. My snare drum my daddy bought for me in elementary. It was hard to do and I felt tears welling up in my eyes more than once. The manager was a bit abrasive but the sales guy was helpful. So its been a day of good and bad, right and wrong, laughter and tears. No job. No calls. But the day is not over.
I went outside to water my herbs and noticed they seemed perky. I say this because I haven't watered them in days and they were drooping over in thirst yesterday when I peaked out at them. I wanted to water them but was too busy with other things. But God stepped in and watered them when I could not. Again it rained when the forecast said it was not to be. We can not see what God is doing behind the scenes but we have to trust that He is always there. Ready to supply us with water when we thirst, food when we're hungry, and hope when it seems we're in a drought. My herbs bloom and I will too.

Mixed bag of nuts....

Today was one of those days. You get out of bed hopeful and full of life and then splat! It all goes haywire. No news from the job front. Faxed in a request to update my application with the local district. There's a job that seems promising. Did I mention that?

I spoke to an old friend of mine. We used to work together for this appliance company that robbed people blind and still does. Well, he had been a teacher before and left to pursue another life. He's lost his house and had to take a small apartment. Now the rent is being increased and he is having to move in with his sister. He's in his late 50's? He's selling all his possesions to survive until this school year gets under way and he can sub. My heart broke as he told me the story but he was so hopeful. He figured it was maybe God's way of trying to tell him something and that there was purpose to it all. I told him maybe God just wanted to get his attention and have him focus on God more. Maybe that's what God wants from me as well.

So it has been a bag of mixed nuts today. My family is driving me nuts. My search for a teaching job or at least a call back is driving me nuts. My husband is driving me nuts. Maybe I've already gone nuts and I'm just making everything up. Oh, nuts!

No answer

This morning I woke up not feeling too well. With some schools already on their first class day and others soon to be starting, I felt rather blah. I called another school and left a message as no one answered. Strange. I called the main district I'm trying to get into as I came across another position I'm qualified to teach. No answer. Eerie. Let me try again. No answer. What is going on here? The paranoid side of me says they have caller i.d. and don't want to talk to me. I just want to know when they are going to start calling new substitutes in for interviews. So, hopefully I'll start working as a sub sometime real soon. Maybe a teacher's aide and maybe an actual teacher which, is my hope. I want to get off this comfortable sofa, into uncomfortable shoes, and earn my pay. I'm tired of watching reruns of shows that when I was working was a great comfort. Only now they serve as reminders of my delayed success and this overwhelming feeling that I'm wasting away somehow....after several more calls I finally got a hold of someone. Apparently, interviews for new subs will not start until sometime in September. September?!! They are still flagging the names of those that attended the in-service. How about crossing off the names of those that were so late that the in-service started almost an hour late. So by the time fingerprints are finished, t.b. testing, and all that....I should start subbing in January? February? I'm annoyed and frustrated with the process that keeps changing. With documents that keep getting lost and a very slow process, I just don't think I can fathom another re-run of....well, anything. So, I wait. I wait to teach. And I'm getting older. A lot older.

Rejected...ouch!

This morning I woke up full of hope and possibility. I came across a position with a local school district that I am certified to teach. The posting showed the employment positions were updated on the 11th and today we are the 12th. I asked my hubby to fax my resume and transcript to H.R and he called me to say it had just gone through. I called the H.R. department to verify that they had received it. After informing me they had, I was asked what position I was applying for. After telling the lady on the other end of nowhere, I was REJECTED! The position was filled. How can that be when their employment vacancies were just updated yesterday?
I was feeling low. Lower then the time I was chosen last for a baseball game back in grade school. By the afternoon though, my hope was restored. It rained today. Not a drizzle. Not a sprinkle. Actual rain. Hard rain. In an area with extreme drought, this was a welcome relief. This leads me to believe if God hears our prayers for rain, then I'm sure he hears the prayers of my friends, family, and myself for relief from my own personal drought. I have hope. Hope is what I cling to.
"The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire." Isaiah 58:11